Just imagine a deep, husky voice pouring the wisdom of all these life lessons written below. Because, why not? It’s only here I can afford someone to at least think that I have that kind of voice. Otherwise, hearing my voice on recording makes me want to apologize to every single person I’ve talked to anyway – like I am really sorry, not.
On that note:
DISCLAIMER: This write-up is neither a list of life lessons where I preach about random stuff nor is it about telling you how to live your life. It, in fact, is an honest list of relatable 25 life lessons I’ve learned the hard way. Some long, some short – because with some experience, came some wisdom!
Here we go with My 25 life lessons that now will also be Yours:
All these years, I always did something I was a little not ready to do. Maybe, that’s how we all grow as individuals. I may naively have envisioned myself as a super confident woman who might have not everything figured out, but at least knew what she did not want, if not what she wanted.
With almost two and a half years of adulthood, having a job and living independently, I have to admit, I may not be where I want to be (probably because you always want more), but I am proud of where I am in a lot of ways. For now, ‘hormones’ – most of the times – are the only reason I cry.
Typing all this gives me mixed feelings where not only I feel really old but I also feel like everything has just happened yesterday.
To start with:
1. 25 is not old
I remember in my teens I considered my 25-year-old cousins ‘old’ enough and I can’t believe I thought that way. I’d meet them on their wedding day, see aunties and uncles (mostly aunties) interested in their age, job, future plans, and kids.
Getting to know they have real jobs and bill payments on time, now spouses and lately they’ll have kids too, really made me think they’ve their lives together. Now that I am 25, I know that no one has it all together. And the most important part – that’s perfectly fine. Everyone is trying – one day at a time.
2. Love is not a favor that you return
It’s not a two-way street always. It’s okay to love someone and them not loving you back. But remember, it’s not okay to not be respected. I know it’s awful to be not loved as much, but what is even more awful is not being respected by that certain someone.
I am completely okay if my boyfriend doesn’t love me the way I love him, but I won’t be okay if he doesn’t respect me. Love is not a favor. And the idea of how it should be is not going to take you anywhere.
3. One never regrets getting things done
It may not sound fascinating to WAIT for the weekend to run errands, clean the cupboard, watch the latest movie released, explore that new café in the town or complete the blog post that you’ve been trying to complete since ages (me right now). But do you regret getting things done? I am sure not. Working through a to-do list makes life easier. Netflix, my friend, is always streaming.
4. A lot of friendships are situational
Not only in your 20s, though. In your life, you entertain both kinds of relationships – shallow and deep. I certainly get an overwhelming sense of sadness when I think of some friends not being friends anymore. Losing touch with them, however, makes me think I wasn’t ever friends with them in the first place.
Regardless the temporariness they brought, they also brought lessons for life. Not trying to please everyone around you just to be ‘there’ and ‘belong’, is one of them. Life this way, trust me, is very liberating. And truth be told a lot of friendships are just situational.
5. Your Mom is probably right
I am no way saying that parents are always right. They are humans. You may feel they sometimes don’t make sense, and that’s okay. But can you deny they’ve seen more life than you? They also have the right to advise us on our big decisions because there are life lessons and then there are life lessons by parents, the ones you may at times cringe about, but they always reap you good.
Don’t ask me how, but my mom knew which ‘best friend’ was actually a best friend and which one was not. If only I listened to her, I could save myself a lot of heartache. Thankfully, I realized quite early in my life that I should just take my mom’s advice. Of course, the final call is mine. From eating right to being back home on time, I try to listen to her as much as I can. The times that I didn’t, I have faced consequences.
6. And here’s some credit to Dads too
He taught me how this world doesn’t work with Utopian ideals. He told me how I always need to be ready for anything that is thrown at me. We might have our differences for whatsoever reasons, but he always backed me when I was unsure. Courage may not take away any problems, but so doesn’t fear. Because of his hard work, creativity, and experience, I know how courage gives the right tools to see difficulties in a different light.
7. Religion is not to fear, neither is God
Speaking of parents teaching us stuff, it’s them that I know religion is not to fear. One finds solace in different things. In case you find solace chanting God’s name, it’s not something you’d do when you’re in trouble. And not something that requires obeying a lot of rules too. God loves us anyway and doesn’t want us to suffer. Finding meaning in whatever we follow is something we do with everything else in life, why not religion then? If you believe in something, get your reasons right.
8. Health is important
Not until my health was in real bad shape I started caring about it. Already underweight, whenever I fell sick in past I just kept on pushing my body to do things that it couldn’t at that particular time. This only costed me double the days of rest. Same were the habits with food – careless.
I wanted to change it because I started feeling it is harming any other work that I do too. Now I am the weight I should be, thanks to the dietician. And I give my body the sleep and rest it needs too. A healthier you is a wealthier you, and now not only I know it, I also understand it.
9. Care about things, people
Empathy is not something one should feel ashamed of. Well, yes, I used to shed tears looking at underprivileged kids on the signals. Now I don’t – not because I think it’s uncool to. Instead, because I somehow learnt to control my emotions. To care, however, isn’t uncool. To sum it up, adulting in 2018 means getting a bad Uber ride and still giving that guy 5 stars because you understand that this is likely his livelihood and you don’t want to jeopardize that. Life lessons are meant to be learnt the hard way, I guess.
10. Depression is not something you should feel ashamed of
Let’s talk about it like we talk about diabetes. First off, depression is not a choice. Neither it happens when you are free nor when you’re busy. It’s about hormones and anyone who is depressed is not going to get cured overnight. One has to learn to live with it. Some people are good at it, some may struggle, it’s all about the efforts and the surroundings. Mental health is as important as your physical health, probably more. If you need to visit a therapist, invest in it, go. Believe me, it gets better.
11. Leave jobs for the right reasons
Work hard. And also smart. If you’re working for a successful organization, your employers are not idiots. They will notice. If they don’t, leave. You don’t need to work hard for people who don’t appreciate you. There are companies that get comfortable with your skillset too. If your employers do not understand that you need to learn new things too, leave. Always remember, you are more than your job and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
12. Something good is going to happen
And so is bad. The worse could be on the aisle and you should be prepared. I am not saying that we should think negative. Preparing for the worst is just the sensible and objective way of going about things. Hoping for the best, however, is necessary too. I am an optimist too. All I am saying is the more prepared about situations you are, the lesser hurt you will feel. The universe isn’t out to get you. It isn’t trying to help you either. Mostly, the universe doesn’t care.
13. Financial independence is important
Everyone knows they should save money. Had I not saved money, I swear I wouldn’t feel as much free as I feel now in any kind of unwanted situation. Probably, saving money is one the most ‘precious’ life lessons I’ve learned so far. So, save money like I am saving letters to explain my point right here. Period.
14. Judge less, let others live more
Privilege has all of us saved from murdering people, hasn’t it? Just kidding. But yes, privilege sure allows us the luxury of morals and principles. I have seen people worry about basic survival before they can think of keeping their morals intact. Don’t judge people you think are being ‘weak’ in their lives.
15. Know your drinking limits
Speaking of privilege, it’s okay that you’ve tried ‘things’ in your life. However, know your drinking limits. Try not to cross them too. Truth be told, it’s not fun. You become a burden for your friends and turn the time not fun for them as well. Not to forget, the next day sucks too.
Thanks for bearing with me till here! Turn the page for the remaining life lessons! Hint for the next: “Hearbreaks!”